Quagmire Posthumously Declared a Nobel Laureate for his Early Insights into the Giggity Economy.

As the economy slowly but steadily shies away from long term employees and hourly wages, economists are scrambling to fill the pages of more shitty textbooks. Barron Wuffer, union manager and renowned gig economist, claims that he has seen this coming for years, drawing inspiration from the popular adult cartoon Family Guy.

“There are clues on the surface of the show, but the meat of it all was deep inside. Giggity.”

Wuffer explained to me patiently, but I continued to struggle to understand what the hell he was talking about. He then went on to explain that a character in the show perfectly characterized the modern American worker, in a way so relatable I began to think he was literally me.

Quagmire, a man reduced to his most primal urges, represents a trend that Barron suspects arose from the highly competitive and insecure job market. “Without a steady job, men are forced to express their industry through other means. So rather than raise a family with their unsteady income, men choose womanizing and adopt a permanent bachelor mentality.”

Quagmire himself represents the narrow boundary between being single and gay; as a man, he in high supply and low demand in today’s dating market. He can either die straight, or live long enough to become the girlfriend. Barron says a man’s response to this situation resembles that of frogs and clown fish, who change genders to meet the demand of their population, a phenomenon that closely resembles the ongoing battle between the wants of corporations and the needs of consumers. Well I say it’s about time they pull themselves up by their garters and grow a pussy already. As they say, every hole is a goal, and if you can’t find one, all you need is a shovel. Then again, I’m no economist.

These observations gained the attention of the Nobel committee, one thing lead to another, and Quagmire’s image and character became a founding figure of gig economics. Sadly, this was a pretty polarizing decision, and we still can’t really tell how much of the committee was on board, as the bulk of the debate was carried out in YouTube comment sections.

“His mantra is simple but nuanced: Giggity, giggity, giggity, he is saying [his] mind is clear and yet filthy.” Pajeet Rajeshambuli, lifelong friend and lover of Barron, eagerly explained to an audience of geriatric career academics. “The foresight of Family Guy is clearly on the same level of the Simpsons, and yet there is no clear connection between the two.“ Well, Quagmire is a total simp in my book, then again, I’m no economist.