While many would claim that it’s a long way to Mukumbura, this is an problematic and outdated point of view. In the modern day, we must challenge these basic “common sense” assumptions and better ourselves. In fact, Mukumbura is not even the most remote location in the region, that would be Nyaminyami. But is there a song about how long of a way it is to Nyaminyami? Not even one.
In this day and age we need to correct the record and speak our truth when we hear falsehoods being spread. For instance, nobody would ever run to Kariba from Mukute, that’s a whole forty two miles on foot! And do you really expect us to believe that the whole way from JOC Inyanga to Umtali is paved?
It gives me sympathetic embarrassment to know that there are people so illogical as to simply accept the statement “It’s a long way to Mukumbura” at face value.
So to put this borderline conspiracy theory to rest once and for all, I brought acclaimed world scientist, and darling of r/Geography, Dr. Micheal Easton on board to give some scientific proof that Mukumbura is NOT that far away. I asked the good doctor to weigh in over personal messages on Reddit, he responded almost instantly.
“In the grand scheme of things, Earth is really just a tiny blue ball in the epically vast emptiness of outer space. We all are truly insignificant compared to all the mass in the universe, to all of time. Can anyone really truly say it’s a long way to anything when you think about just how worthless and nothing human life is compared to how long the universe has existed? I have one word for Mukumbura, utterly and completely meaningless. In this moment, I am jubilant, not because of some pretense that I matter, but because I unlike everyone else on this stupid, worthless, vile, disgusting, 4 billion year old round oblate spheroid, know I am not.”
-Micheal Easton, 65,000 comment karma as of August 16, 2021
He then linked a list of citations and books, among which were A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson and the Republic by Plato. I was truly astounded by his intellect.
Hat’s off to you, Doctor!
Then walk there already…
>And do you really expect us to believe that the whole way from JOC Inyanga to Umtali is paved?
Well, mostly