If you told me last year I would have made it another year without him, I would’ve thought you were kidding me.
But here we are, on the anniversary of his death yet again. Jeffrey was the closest thing I had to a brother. He taught me how to get my kids to eat broccoli, he said to me “no matter what they still won’t like it: but they’ll squirm less if you use a lot of butter.” He shared his island with me, he brought my wife hotdogs and ice-cream whenever she asked, he even introduced me to some of my idols. I still remember the plane ride where Matt Groening of the Simpsons finally got into the Mile High Club!
It was so much fun playing with the boys. But we all have to grow up eventually, face reality. Jeffrey is gone, but those he touched still remain. I love what he did for me, what he did for my family, my kids, my country. That’s what I want to talk about today. Jeffrey Edward Epstein held our country together like glue, all the divisiveness, sectarianism, factionalism, it was nothing when we came together after the senate squabble and just chilled out.
The Republicans, the Democrats, the lobbyists, the scientists, the industrialists, the journalists, when it came to Jeffrey there was only ONE party in the world: and it was on Little Saint James.
We don’t have that for our nation anymore, and we are suffering for it. Our leadership is disjointed, falling over itself up the stairs. Our people are turning against one another and taking to riots in the capitol. We need Jeffrey back. We need someone to take up the mantle. Because Jeffrey Epstein is an idea, an abstraction. He could be anyone with the will to grab hold of something and pin it down to make sure it doesn’t cause a stir between the partisans. He could be anyone with the strength to come alongside the rest of us and join us all together. I’m calling on you, reader, our nation needs you.
Alright calvin. I think I will become jeffrey epstein.