After the Vice Presidential debate, PILLED.news spoke with a professional fact-checker and facial emotion analyst to determine who won. The verdict is in: America—because Donald Trump and J.D. “Weirdly Sexy Freak” Vance are out of here for good.
According to Facial Analysis of Symmetry and the Cranium, Indication via Sensitivity to Micro-expressions—A settled science core to the beliefs of political parties that trust their superiors in scientific fields—Tim Walz is the better choice by far. During the debate, Tim Walz displayed bravery through the modulation of his cheek muscles, confidence via the stiffness of his filtrum, and caring devotion to the Haitian-American legal residents/immigrants soon-to-be-citizens of Dayton County, Ohio using—what’s known in the community as— the mandibular jostle.
Dr. Jean-Remy Baptiste M.D., Franciscan University of Steubenville, Dean of the School of Physiognomy
Isn’t that just the most relieving thing you’ve heard all week?
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