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PILLED.NEWS

Epstein Breaks Back Into Prison to Steal Surveillance Tapes of His Own Suicide.What's the next step in his master plan?

Epstein Breaks Back Into Prison to Steal Surveillance Tapes of His Own Suicide.

By Jim Creek on January 13, 2020

Obliterating claims of his demise, Jeffrey Epstein was spotted breaking back into the Metropolitan Correctional Center. An anonymous prison guard contacted me, PILLED.news field operative Jim Creek, through an astral projection. Sadly, our conversation was cut short when I detected a rancid aura approaching. In all likelihood it was deep-state psychic operatives zeroing in on our locations.

Quagmire Posthumously Declared a Nobel Laureate for his Early Insights into the Giggity Economy.

Quagmire Posthumously Declared a Nobel Laureate for his Early Insights into the Giggity Economy.

By Greg Peterson on January 13, 2020

As the economy slowly but steadily shies away from long term employees and hourly wages, economists are scrambling to fill the pages of more shitty textbooks. Barron Wuffer, union manager and renowned gig economist, claims that he has seen this coming for years, drawing inspiration from the popular adult cartoon Family Guy.