Susan Rouge, an entrepreneur and single mother of two, was tragically reported missing this morning. Authorities have since stated this could be related to a series of conflicts involving a gang of Facebook makeup saleswomen. A local search party has been organized in an attempt to find her, but knowing that oily slut she could easily be in another country by now.
PILLED.NEWS
I feel nothing but guilt when it comes to my friend Jeffrey. I should have reached out when I saw his tweets.
Obliterating claims of his demise, Jeffrey Epstein was spotted breaking back into the Metropolitan Correctional Center. An anonymous prison guard contacted me, PILLED.news field operative Jim Creek, through an astral projection. Sadly, our conversation was cut short when I detected a rancid aura approaching. In all likelihood it was deep-state psychic operatives zeroing in on our locations.
As the economy slowly but steadily shies away from long term employees and hourly wages, economists are scrambling to fill the pages of more shitty textbooks. Barron Wuffer, union manager and renowned gig economist, claims that he has seen this coming for years, drawing inspiration from the popular adult cartoon Family Guy.