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PILLED.NEWS

Thousands Gather in the Waters of Little Saint James to Commemorate Island Native Jeffery Epstein.

Memorial services were held this week to mourn the loss of Jeffrey Epstein, the owner and primary resident of Little Saint James. Thousands made the pilgrimage to the beautiful archipelago to remember his legacy, partaking in services and activities including a candlelight vigil, live music performances, various religious ceremonies, and group sex.

Single Mom Missing After Facebook Confrontation, but Honestly That Bitch Had It Coming.

Susan Rouge, an entrepreneur and single mother of two, was tragically reported missing this morning. Authorities have since stated this could be related to a series of conflicts involving a gang of Facebook makeup saleswomen. A local search party has been organized in an attempt to find her, but knowing that oily slut she could easily be in another country by now.