RE: Joe Rogan. No I don’t need Horse Paste for a FAKE VIRUS

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No, Joe Rogan, I don’t need horse paste because COVID is fake news and everything is just fine! If you read pilled news, you would know it was cured over a year ago. Actually, I WOULD like to try some of that horse paste for a couple of reasons, even though I don’t need it. I’m all about experimentation.

Reason One:

The Russian-made horse paste is known abroad as “green” paste. I’d like to try a new theory about the hoax: I believe it’s all about the green. Follow the money, watch what it was doing right before the pandemic. You’ll see. I think it’s undeniable that everything is connected. Nothing is a coincidence. The fact you’re reading this means our essences and our destinies are interlinked, and the fact that money is green and green paste costs money is undeniable as well.

Reason Two:

Horse paste is known for its healing properties. I’d like to see if the horse paste can be used to heal myself. It may not be necessary for dealing with an Iranian spell, but imagine all the little parasites that might be inside us. I bet they won’t be too happy about the paste.

Reason Three:

I’d like to see if there are any side effects to using the horse paste. Not that I need any more “horse-like qualities” in that department mind you, but I will admit I have to admire the ability of our equine friends to pull heavy objects. I think this could be really useful to me if ever I were in provincial India and my mule fell ill to the swarms of genetically modified man-sized mosquitoes in that region and it fell to me to continue pulling my wagon full of vitality-increasing spices to the village of low-T beta males who desperately need my help.

Reason Four:

I’m going to be doing a lot of experimentation in the near future. I’m not going to be eating or drinking anything that I’m not sure about. That is to say, I’m going to be testing everything until I’m sure about it using intramuscular injections. That way, I can keep any damage relegated to my extremities and not introduce anything dangerous into my digestive system or cardio. If it comes to it, amputation will be much easier than a painful horse transformation centered around my paste-filled stomach. I don’t want to take any chances.

I’ve been thinking about horse paste since I was a child. I had a very specific desire to eat horse meat. My grandmother used to give me horse meat in a little jar. I was so excited about it. I’d eat it for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. That’s why I am the man I am today. If anything, I look up to Joe Rogan’s horse-like qualities. His immensely powerful kicks, his ability to devour a carrot in barely 3 seconds, his proclivity to eat your fingers if they’re too close to his mouth. I assume the man has been abusing horse paste for quite a few years now. We’re really quite similar, me and him.

If I was in the UFC, I’d definitely fight Joe Rogan. It would be an exciting fight because I think Joe is one of the most unique and interesting people on the planet. He’s a very nice person, but he’s also very smart and he’s a very good businessman. If I had Joe Rogan in the ring for five minutes, no holds barred, I would crush that pathetic grape of a head of his between my knees to maximize the leverage my thigh muscles would have against him. I’d take him and squeeze like nothing short of a breach of military conduct could stop me, and, having doubled him over backwards, I would slam him into the ground repeatedly with all my weight and might and walk away with a smirk on my face.

Your move, Joe.

Creek out.